Send me your young, your old, and your quirky.

Perhaps it's related to the afore-mentioned Good Cop, Bad Cop thing, but I realized last night what kind of tables are "my kind of tables." After you've waited tables for a while, you start to break everything down into the simplest possible terms-- will this table make me any money or make me want to quit this job? It's pragmatic and sad, and I'm not particularly proud of it. Each time that door opens, some part of my mind lumps the opener into either "good times" or "good grief."

Just last night, as I gazed over a table of 7 middle-aged women, I couldn't help but smile. For some reason, I tend to serve the non-typical tables better. Families with small kids, middle-age birthdays, and just the plain old strange tables must appeal to some part of my being. I find I'm more relaxed and my schtick comes off better at tables that others servers don't want.

Nicole, or whoever, can take the stuffy business lunches and even the super-hot, single 20-something females. I like the tables that think I'm funny and not just weird...

Sure there are down sides: these types of tables require a lot of attention usually and, for some reason, parents think it is ok to let their child make a complete mess. And it's not always a sure-fire thing that I make good money at my kind of tables. Still (though my landlord may differ in opinion), I'd rather be poor and happy at work than rich and suicidal.

Though I am far from having kids my own, I like making funny faces at other people's kids. Though I think of myself as a strapping young buck, women in their 40-60's seem to get me. And the strange tables break up the monotony of "what can I get you to drink?"

In the end, anyone who can make me feel good at work is worth his weight it tips.